enlightenment is a choice

I'm constantly looking for inspiration in my life and ways to uplift and enlighten myself. Furthermore any person who says/writes something that makes me reflect upon my life, its course, and inspires positive change is due a certain amount of respect from me. So many of us sit around wondering "when will my time (to shine) come?" or "what is all this for and what is the purpose?" and even "is this it?" well this blogger who's posting I've been hooked on for sometime has a way of putting those questions we all have into perspective as well as engaging us in ways to live our better lives now. not tomorrow or next month. it's uplifting, positive, and all around awesome.

to give you a bit of recent inspiration from Jonathan , so maybe you'll too check out his blog, I've quoted from his latest post...

"This took me a while to accept, but the purpose of life is to enjoy it. If you’re trying to find the purpose of life, by looking for something outside of life, you’re never going to find an answer. That’s because the purpose of life is life.

That doesn’t help you much, does it? We all want a larger purpose, something to give our lives meaning when everything seems meaningless.

The truth is, life doesn’t have a purpose. That’s hard to swallow. When I realized this, I felt lost. I felt confused and I felt like giving up.

What I failed to realize is that life doesn’t have a purpose because of free will. There is no purpose forced on you. You can choose to have a purpose, or to not have a purpose, but life isn’t going to give you one. You don’t need to let this bother you though. The only reason you need for having a purpose is because you want one."

p.s. another really cool thing is that a majority of the posts have small exercises to help you reflect while showing that it is possible to become that person you want to be and lead the life you want to lead.

tonight

I am...

~feeling like a bona fide American citizen (and perhaps slightly more adult) because today was my first time ever to vote!

~hopeful because I've a job interview on Friday (keep your fingers crossed)

~thankful because I've gotten all that extracurricular stuff squared away with my jeep i.e. insurance, tag, etc. It was such a headache dealing with the women at the NC License Plate Agency.

~full because I cooked quesadillas with southwestern grilled chicken tonight, and I kept eating because they were so delish

~awake because while coffee doesn't bother me, I drank some of the Jazz Pepsi earlier and I'm bouncing off the walls

~a little excited because Stranger than Fiction with Will Ferrell is about to come on t.v.

adios

here in body, but...

but here in spirit:
a few weeks ago I was in VA Beach, and I don't think all of me returned to NC. I'm certainly counting down the days till I can make it back to where the waves meet the sand. Of course I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling the need to escape right now with the state of things in the economy paired with whatever personal stresses and concerns are in their lives.

awareness is the new black

sunday

so I slept 'til 1230 today and woke up feeling sore (from moving furniture yesterday), groggy, and like I had wasted away my day. I did some cleaning, cooked the rest of dinner to go with the roast I started last night, read and drank lots of coffee. speaking of which the roast cooked all night in the crock pot, and this morning when I woke up I found a wonderfully tender roast that fell apart with the touch of a fork. oh the deliciousness that was...

I also looked for jobs online which is really starting to frustrate the hell out of me because it seems me and a million others are looking for jobs. these are the serious times and I've wondered a lot lately if it isn't just going to get worse before it gets better?

I have this beautiful scarf I bought from Seoul, Korea and it's been going to waste hanging in my closet, so today I did this...

from this week...

my sweet meat

me with a "bud effect" as someone told me (there was no bud involved)

the current love of my life looking all debonair that he is

I dig...

this song makes me want to grab a blanket and sit on my porch with a coupla beers until the sun comes up...



not the best video, but it's the song that matters anyways...

an apology

so recently I was editing some posts, and I realized my post about the dinner with a past acquaintance was a bit much. I'm not one to kiss and tell, so why I should I cringe and tell? so I apologize because after reading it I was like who the hell wrote that? I mean yes I can be a bit ruthless at times, but maybe I was a little harsh. o.k a lot.

Whitman-not-the-chocolate-sampler

O Me! O Life!
by Walt Whitman
O Me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish; Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?) Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d; Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me; Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined; The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse. Whitman, among a few others, is my go-to for comfort, inspiration, and even a wake-up. This work is one of my favorite.

life in the unemployment lane

is like this:

• Daytime television is absolute shit.
• Online job boards are absolute shit.
• Having no car is crisis-level shit, but not so bad when thinking about gas prices.
• The presence of food and all the time in the world to consume said food can lead to crisis-level expansion of one's ass.
• having just returned from abroad where you could "do it all by yourself" to living at home in a small town is the ultimate hell of shit
• the depression and the going near bat-shit crazy from sitting around is T-total shit
  
• Oh, and guess what else? The economy is shit.

there is a similar version of this on a fellow blogger's page, but I thought it fit me so well I had to use it, and of course add a little of my own to it.

basically I wake up in the morning, run, shower, sometimes go back to bed (oh, yes I'm serious) get up, walk about 30 feet to my kitchen to start my first pot of coffee, retrace 5 of those feet to my computer where I park my ass for about 2 hours reading blogs, emailing, surfing said online job board and Craigslist. Have I mentioned in the 5 weeks (ok really 2 and some change since I've traveled a good portion of that 5) I've read 4 (300 some page) books, thumbed through every magazine from the past 4 months, watched Mango, spoofs from the debates and Dane Cook on youtube/hulu to the point that I should be taxed, cleaned out my closet/room, and learned in order when the neighbors leave every morning. pathetic I know.

Good Morning Blues

last weekend I joined my brother, his fiancee and my nephew on their trip to the flea market. I love love love the flea market, and of course vintage-y stores/thrift stores. It's all about timing, and if you're in the right place at the right time you can find some really awesome/interesting/quirky things. I digress. Once we got to said flea market, I almost regretted going because what used to be the flea market of my childhood, was now a bunch of rednecks with what seemed to be their wares from the trailer park. I was wrong for assuming and judging the inside by the few I saw standing around outside because once inside (for the most part) it was still the awesomeness that I remember it to be.

One of the first tables we passed an elderly African American woman was sorting out boxes of books on tables with who I presumed was her husband. Everyone knows (or almost everyone) my passion for books, especially African American Literature. Well while looking at the books which was actually an awesome collection (Toni Morrison, Ralph Ellison, Speeches of Famous Black Americans, and even some Eric Jerome Dickey :] for those of you who like little spizazz in your reading every now and then) Well, I found the most of the books that piqued my interest I had or had already read. But there was one: Black Literature In America, and when I picked it up the lady came up behind me and said "oh honey that's a good one, if you like that kind of stuff. I used that in one of my classes at Johnson C Smith. It's all marked up, but that don't take away from the affect sweetheart, oh no." Did I mentioned that when I first saw this woman I wanted to sit down beside her with coffee, a pad and pencil, and let her tell me stories. her stories. She just looked like one of those people, and by the looks of her literature (of course it mayn't have all been read by her) she would have been someone I would have enjoyed talking to. So after thumbing through the book, and realizing it had works of some of my favorites (Langston Hughes, Cullen, Malcolm X, McKay, Mari Evans, and even some Baldwin was in the table of contents) all for just a dollar. I bought the book needless to say, and it's every bit the great read I thought it would be. One thing though (and the reason for this post) there was a work in the Black Folklore section that was dog-eared and marked beside of, forcing the reader to take note. Well I read it, and I wondered if the woman had felt part of herself being written in those words, or maybe just liked the sound of the poem/song, or had she turned to them in times of struggle for comfort? So here it is:

Good Morning Blues (also the title of an autobio of Count Basie)

Good mornin' , blues,
Blues, how do you do?
Good mornin', blues,
Blues, how do you do?
Good morning, how are you?

I laid down last night,
Turning from side to side;
Yes, I was turning from side to side,
I was not sick,
I was just dissatisfied

When I got up this mornin',
Blues walking around my bed;
Yes, the blues walkin' around my bed,
I went to eat my breakfast,
The blues was all in my bread.

I sent for you yesterday baby,
Here you come a walking today;
Yes, here you come a walking today,
Got your mouth wide open,
You don't know what to say.

Good mornin' , blues,
Blues, how do you do?
Yes, blues, how do you do?
I'm doing all right,
Good morning, how are you?


I believe the second verse is my favorite, and wonder which one was her's.

'another one bites the dust'

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there's a knock at the door

this morning during my morning ritual of blog-surfing while enjoying my coffee, I came across a wonderful post about fall and winter.

courtesy of Orangette

I’ve got nothing against fall. Really, it’s just fine. It’s plums and pumpkins and leaves changing color and apple cider and all that. The problem is that it paves the way for winter. The way I see it, fall is sort of like the butler in an English novel, and winter is the shadowy, black-clad, slightly deranged visitor at the gate. Fall, being very polite and professional, escorts Winter into the parlor to have a seat. Then, while Fall is upstairs, alerting his master to the arrival of the visitor, Winter wreaks havoc on the manor, downing an entire decanter of brandy, startling the maid, and stealing the sterling tea service from the sideboard in the dining room.

she mentions P.G. Wodehouse, which is where I'm guessing this comes from. either way it's a delightful way of describing the changing of seasons.

this morning, it's beautiful as usual here in North Carolina. the sky is a brilliant blue and while there's a chill in the morning air, the bright sun is promising to warm us as the day progresses. the leaves are still caught between Spring and Fall because half are still a vivid green while others are giving away to those warm reds, browns and golds we associate with Fall before piling up around the trees.

i'm on my way to brunch.

cultural swap

so today I found this blog, and I was so fascinated by the project that I couldn't resist. I'm a traveler at heart, and having already lived in South Korea for a year and some change, I can't wait to experience expat life again. The blog gives you the opportunity to connect with people from all over the world, and swap cool things from their country/culture with those of your own country/culture. This may be one of the most brilliant ideas I've ever come across, especially right now, in a time when people are taught to fear others from cultures-not-their-own in order to protect their country's assets. check it out...

Anyhow, those of you swapping, here's what I can provide:

magazines/books
cookies/candies, etc
crafting materials, postcards, etc
mixed c.d.s of music
of course other things, so just ask and we'll talk

things I'd like:

music
books/magazines
handmade things
black and white photos/postcards
candy, dried fruit from those of you in places where it's really fresh. (had some mango and coconut from Thailand while living in South Korea, and it was DIVINE)
any other things you'd like to share

thursday pictures

the first thing I saw this morning when I exited my bedroom. do not assume that he is not given fresh water daily, and is forced to drink out of the toilet. he's just that uncouth.

me with my "sweet meat" aka Carter my nephew. Ignore the fact that I look like I've the beginnings of a spare tire around my waist. This stance is my best effort at balancing my nephew (who is longer than my torso) on my non-existent hips.

something I dig. right. now.

so recently I was turned on to Sia, and there are really no words to describe this woman, her voice, and her lyrics that make me want to sit down with her at a cafe and have a cup of joe (or maybe tea since she's spent some time in Britain). go here and here to check her out. now.

what's height got to do with it?

Recently I read an article on Russia's Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin in Vanity Fair, and I was surprised to find that he is barely 5'5. Maybe the rest of you were aware of this vicious and mighty man's height (or lack there of), but I wasn't. While reading the article I thought from the pictures that he was at least 6 foot. I'm in no way saying that power and height should have any correlation; I'm just surprised that all of these vicious men with such power are barely tall enough to see over the counter at my local Wachovia. Oh, and don't let me forget to mention:

Russia's Dmitry Medvedev is 5'2
North Korea's Kim Jung Il is 5'3
Joseph Stalin was 5'6
Napoleon Bonaparte was 5'6
Hirohito was 5'5

Hell, I'm not even five foot, I bet I could set the world on fire...

who gives a damn if you went to college

I apologize for the absence, but even though I've not been busy, I have been preoccupied. I'm back on the proverbial job-search train that will inevitably take weeks, maybe months, before there are any results. When I say I've gotten on the job-search train, I mean that in the most serious way possible because I'm applying to almost everything except the night shift at 7-Eleven. Not only am I throwing myself out there like a whore on dollar day, but I'm also applying to jobs all along the East Coast. I swear, whoever becomes the next commander-in-chief better have their act together and get the ball rolling to help open up the job market.

Would you know it really doesn't do you a bit of good these days in the job market to have a Bachelor's degree if you don't have a Master's? And if you don't have a Master's you better hope like hell you have three to five years of experience in the field where you're seeking employment. So where does that leave the lot of us who got a B.A. thinking it may help us sustain ourselves financially (even if only for a little bit) and keep from having to wear a Wal-Mart smock, only to come home and find out the cold truth: it probably won't?

It doesn't help that I live in North Carolina and there are four categories which a majority of the employed in NC fall into: Craft/Trade, Retail, Health Care, Teaching/Education. Furthermore, if you're like me and from a relatively small town (despite it's proximity to Charlotte, NC) said employed expect to enter one of these four categories and more often than not they make a life out of it. Well, I'm not one of those people.